As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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