apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
