Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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