The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
