ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
