She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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