Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
