She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
