YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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