I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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