hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't turn off my feet"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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