so that wasnt chicken after all
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We need to get me chipped asap
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
