where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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