i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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