If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i dont even know how to be here
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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