I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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