I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
