also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
