I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
