WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
