He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
