Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Please don't give away my fajitas
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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