I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
