If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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