im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
