Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
