im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
