Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
