I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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