Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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