So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
NoShamevember. You game?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
