You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
