Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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