I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
