thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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