She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
