i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
