That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
