Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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