My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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