It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
