All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
