Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
