I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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