The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
