I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
