They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
