i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
