i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
