Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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