he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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