Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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