i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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