having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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