I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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